That’s always been an odd statement to me: “Making Love”. What does it really mean that “having sex” doesn’t already cover? I’ve heard arguments for the emotional part – Making Love includes an emotional aspect that Having Sex may lack. I’ve heard other arguments for quality or setting – Making Love is when it’s ethereal or passionate in a proper way or… I don’t even know how to articulate the difference. Someone once said to me that when they’ve filled their room with candles and have good music playing and things happen slowly then it’s Making Love. When they’re bent over the kitchen table it’s Having Sex.
I don’t get it.
Not that I disagree with these things, I don’t necessarily. I just think we’re create a Sex Caste in our heads when we segregate making love and having sex. I feel like we exult one at the expense of the other. From my perspective, this leads to feeling that if you want to Have Sex and aren’t really interested in the sweet, the set-up, the equitable… whatever, if you want something new or different, it will always be second to “Making Love”.
I don’t agree with that.
I Love A____ with a capital LOVE. I’m happier with her than I’ve ever been. I feel like our sex life is an extension and articulation of that love. I hope that when I touch her she can feel it.
Even when she’s blindfolded and tied to the door in a bra and panties and I’ve got the riding crop and a whiskey and lots of free time on my hands. What else but love (and the trust that comes from that) would make it possible for her to allow me to do that? Our sex life, in all it’s diversity, is an articulation of love for each other.
The reason I bring this up is this: We’ve come out of the gate running with this blog. We’ve talked about tying each other up and sharing our bed with J___ amd posted pictures and all that. We’ve given you the beginnings of one perspective on our sex life. I’d like to provide another aspect. That’s the part where, after a long Friday and a long walk and dinner we come home and climb into bed to make out and Make Love; quietly. slowly, passionately. A far cry from the activities and conversations we’ve presented here. After, I got up and A____ stayed in bed. We did it again thirty minutes later, and once more this morning.
Having Sex is Making Love if you Love the person you are Having Sex with.
That’s what I really wanted to say here.
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