Bedroom Closet

That’s always been an odd state­ment to me: “Mak­ing Love”. What does it really mean that “hav­ing sex” doesn’t already cover? I’ve heard argu­ments for the emo­tional part — Mak­ing Love includes an emo­tional aspect that Hav­ing Sex may lack. I’ve heard other argu­ments for qual­ity or set­ting — Mak­ing Love is when it’s ethe­real or pas­sion­ate in a proper way or… I don’t even know how to artic­u­late the dif­fer­ence. Some­one once said to me that when they’ve filled their room with can­dles and have good music play­ing and things hap­pen slowly then it’s Mak­ing Love. When they’re bent over the kitchen table it’s Hav­ing Sex.

I don’t get it.

Not that I dis­agree with these things, I don’t nec­es­sar­ily. I just think we’re cre­ate a Sex Caste in our heads when we seg­re­gate mak­ing love and hav­ing sex. I feel like we exult one at the expense of the other. From my per­spec­tive, this leads to feel­ing that if you want to Have Sex and aren’t really inter­ested in the sweet, the set-up, the equi­table… what­ever, if you want some­thing new or dif­fer­ent, it will always be sec­ond to “Mak­ing Love”.

I don’t agree with that.

I Love A____ with a cap­i­tal LOVE. I’m hap­pier with her than I’ve ever been. I feel like our sex life is an exten­sion and artic­u­la­tion of that love. I hope that when I touch her she can feel it.

Even when she’s blind­folded and tied to the door in a bra and panties and I’ve got the rid­ing crop and a whiskey and lots of free time on my hands. What else but love (and the trust that comes from that) would make it pos­si­ble for her to allow me to do that? Our sex life, in all it’s diver­sity, is an artic­u­la­tion of love for each other.

The rea­son I bring this up is this: We’ve come out of the gate run­ning with this blog. We’ve talked about tying each other up and shar­ing our bed with J___ amd posted pic­tures and all that. We’ve given you the begin­nings of one per­spec­tive on our sex life. I’d like to pro­vide another aspect. That’s the part where, after a long Fri­day and a long walk and din­ner we come home and climb into bed to make out and Make Love; qui­etly. slowly, pas­sion­ately. A far cry from the activ­i­ties and con­ver­sa­tions we’ve pre­sented here. After, I got up and A____ stayed in bed. We did it again thirty min­utes later, and once more this morning.

Hav­ing Sex is Mak­ing Love if you Love the per­son you are Hav­ing Sex with.

That’s what I really wanted to say here.

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 13th, 2007 at 11:25 am and is filed under sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.