Bedroom Closet

Break time.

I was think­ing in the shower this morn­ing about “the right amount” vs. “all the way”. It started (in my head) because I’d just fin­ished mas­tur­bat­ing while fuck­ing myself with a dildo and think­ing how fan­tas­tic it felt. It did, and I’ll write more about that some other time. Any­way, that thought led to “I don’t know that I’d ever let any­one actu­ally do this to me” — fuck me. I might, if the sit­u­a­tion were right and I trusted the per­son and so on and so forth. But it’s really not impor­tant to me that it hap­pens at all. It’s not some­thing I’d even really seek out. Not really. Using the dildo on myself occa­sion­ally is “the right amount” of that par­tic­u­lar activ­ity for me, but then it goes back in the toy box for a month and I don’t give it a sec­ond thought.

A___ and I are really like that: We do a lot of things and try a lot of things, but only to a point. We’re con­tent with that. There’s no need or pres­sure to take any­thing a step fur­ther; to go “All the way in”. Not unless we want to.

I’m not blow­ing (I said blow­ing) our horn here or crit­i­ciz­ing any­one else either. It’s merely an obser­va­tion — a clar­i­fi­ca­tion of why you’ll often read about me tying A___ up or vice versa, me spank­ing her or vice versa, me and a dildo or vice versa, but why we’re not active, ongo­ing par­tic­i­pants in any one of these. We enjoy the idea of shar­ing our bed and our bod­ies with a third (and fourth) and have had occa­sion to do this in the past. We prob­a­bly will again in the future, but we have no plans to join a swinger’s club or web site. We write about these “extremes” in our sex life but often leave the rest — our every­day sex — out of the story line, pre­sent­ing an image of sex­u­al­ity that’s entirely accu­rate from a slightly myopic perspective.

I’m fas­ci­nated read­ing blogs from peo­ple who seem to (at least in their blogs) live their par­tic­u­lar lifestyle “All the way in”; whether in dom­i­nance, sub­mis­sion, swing­ing or spank­ing. Where their sex is their lifestyle. I’ve found a lot of great things to read that have been both inter­est­ing and inspi­ra­tional, but I can’t be a sex­ual crea­ture that way. I really think I’d get bored if A___ were my slave or mis­tress, if she needed leather or toys to cum, if we needed a third or fourth to feel sat­is­fied. I often have these moments where I plan to keep A___ in the col­lar all week­end and dom­i­nate her in the same fash­ion that I read about, but I end up pick­ing up a book or we go out and I just for­get about it. We’ve moved on. We’ll get home or time will pass and some­thing else will have inspired us instead. I don’t want to be in charge all the time, as much as I don’t want to not have any con­trol or wear leather or get spanked all the time.

And there are an awful lot of blogs devoted to spank­ing out there. God bless the inter­net for that.

So we con­tinue on here with our leashes and leather, dil­dos and dom­i­nance, fol­low­ing our fan­tasy ben­ders wher­ever they take us, then we’ll take a break for some deli­cious vanilla sex.

Vanilla was always my favorite flavor.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 19th, 2007 at 1:11 pm and is filed under sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.