Valentine.

 My mem­ory fails on details of the first time S___ and I had sex.   I do remem­ber a few things though.   I was ner­vous, so very ner­vous.  The lovers from his past that I knew were incred­i­ble, beau­ti­ful, amaz­ing women.  Every self con­cious nerve was on end, I had now idea how he would react to me.  We had been very close, we had shared the same bed often, we had touched, and kissed, and done all of the things you do before you actu­ally have sex.  His hands always felt amaz­ing on me, his lips were fan­tas­tic, he always knew what to say to me.  I wasn’t ner­vous about being dis­a­pointed.  I was ner­vous about being a disapointment.

Maybe he could see how anx­ious I was, maybe he was just as anx­ious, but he made me laugh.  He made me laugh so hard I almost couldn’t go through with our “first time”.  S___ man­aged to make the least smooth con­dom move ever, unable to detach one and pro­ceed­ing to spill out a roll of them.  Quite enough for a lit­tle gig­gle from me he goes on, laugh­ing about it, telling sto­ries, mak­ing my anx­i­ety give way to fits of the gig­gles.  It’s our big joke.  He almost didn’t get some because he was to funny.

Laugh­ter is a sexy thing though, as every­one knows, and we were able to keep in our gig­gles as we got back into the mood we had started.

Since that first time we have had fan­tas­tic sex of every dif­fer­ent kind.  I never tire of our lives together.  He still makes me laugh.  He still stretches my imag­i­na­tion and gives me no rea­son for anx­i­ety.  He makes me feel beau­ti­ful, and sexy, and funny, and amaz­ing in every way.

I love that all of this started with laugh­ter, and that it con­tin­ues to play a part.

Sex and love can be seper­ate.  It is pos­si­ble with­out doubt.  With me though, sex has been bet­ter with S___ every­day because of the love we have for each other.

Happy Valen­tines Day baby.  I’m glad you made me laugh.

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