Thoughts and Questions.

I some­times think I’m an anom­aly.  As a woman I feel like I am sup­posed to enjoy long erot­ica.  Deeply descrip­tive and detailed sto­ries.  The kind where every kiss is lin­gered upon, every emo­tion felt, each touch described.  On occa­sion I do enjoy the sto­ries, but a lot of the time I am just look­ing for a fix.

I skip through the story, I rush to the steam, I skip over every­thing and read the cli­max over and over fin­gers work­ing with the words in my mind.  I like it fast and dirty.  I look for the sto­ries that are so far beyond my expe­ri­ence.  I look for sit­u­a­tions that I can’t even fathom in my real life.

That’s not nec­es­sar­ily what I like in real life, it’s not always what I write.  I laugh at my impa­tience often.  I won­der if other woman are the same way, rush­ing to the point of impact.

Sim­i­larly I won­der if oth­ers find them­selves think­ing things while fuck­ing that may not appeal in real life.  The foulest of lan­guage, being called the filth­i­est of words, imag­in­ing whis­pers that aren’t there, unable to say them out-loud.  Think­ing why?  Would I really want to be told these things, to be called these names, but get­ting wet­ter each time they are mut­tered in your imagination.

There are things that I think that I couldn’t utter, that I haven’t really writ­ten.  I’ve got­ten close, but not crossed that line.  Simon is an amaz­ing man, and would indulge any whim of mine, but often the whim is in the thought alone…

I can’t always under­stand why I don’t share.

Then there are the times when no thought of kink passes through my head.  When a sim­ple fuck then sleep is enough, more than enough, and I won­der how is it I am the same per­son as I was when I was think­ing such filth.

Just thoughts, emp­ty­ing my head, before I look for my inspi­ra­tion tonight…

One Response to “Thoughts and Questions.”

  1. Mina says on :

    vari­ety is the spice of life. Some­times I write long detailed erot­ica and some­times it’s short streamy snip­pets. Some­times when read­ing erot­ica, I do skip to the “good parts” I tend to do that if the per­son is a hor­ri­ble writer. lol. At home, some­times I love the sen­sual and lov­ing moments and some­times i just want to be used and called his whore. Noth­ing wrong with variety.

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