I was try­ing to write a post tonight about spank­ing; Ava and I have been in nego­ti­a­tions this evening over who should be spank­ing whom (we’re draw­ing cave-art-as-hints on our bath­room mir­ror).  The trou­ble is that the post just isn’t there.

I reach for it, I see it in my head, but… nothing.

Maybe I need a good spank­ing to clear my head or maybe I need to reestab­lish a firm hand and get my blood flow­ing.  Who knows.

Con­sider this a start at clear­ing my head.

It seems so con­trary right now; in I’m my col­lar and leash and you just used my mouth to get off. But I can imag­ine a night with you blind­folded from six pm until you wake the next day.

No sight.

He is over and we are hav­ing an evening. You are the prop; the toy

And you can never be sure who is what.

We would tease you all evening. Make you pro­vide ser­vices. You’d know who was who sone­times. Other times though … Ulti­mately you’d do what you are told. And you’d like it.

When it was time to sleep you’d be sur­rounded by two men, two sets of arms, and totally com­fort­able with two cocks.

I have a ton of work to do tonight; as a web­site designer I’m locked into a “when­ever there’s work” sched­ule.  I’d rather be play­ing though.  Ava’s come up with a novel solu­tion: she says if I promise to do my work tonight she’ll hang around in a school­girl skirt and white but­ton down, maybe sit on my lap a lit­tle.  She said she might even spend some time under the desk.…

There’s NO WAY i’m going to get any work done under those con­di­tions though I intend to try my hard­est.  Her other sug­ges­tion recently was that I be tied to the chair while I work until it’s com­plete.  Equally hard to work but with far more chal­leng­ing con­se­quences when I’m naked.

Choices.

Very rarely do I order Simon.  I have a ten­dency to ask.  I ask sweetly, I say please, I smile.  He knows though.  Simon knows that a request from me, in times like now, is absolutely an order.

For­get­ting to do some­thing that is requested, or ignor­ing it, or being bratty about it doesn’t get an imme­di­ate rep­ri­mand or pun­ish­ment.  It will usu­ally get a grin, a lit­tle laugh, but it is always remembered.

I enjoy it that way.  I like to whis­per that I’ll remem­ber into Simon’s ear when we are out in pub­lic and he makes a lit­tle quip.  I like the look in his eye when I have to remind him of an ear­lier request.  I like the way he will flinch the tini­est bit when I tell him I’m not pleased in some way.

My nature is one of sweet­ness, lik­ing to please, want­ing to please, enjoy­ing the quiet plea­sures in life.  That does not mean, how­ever, that I don’t take great plea­sure in teas­ing and tor­tur­ing when the time is right.  I can red­den an ass with­out mercy when pro­voked and I will make him beg me to stop.  I can cum quickly and often, and I can do it with­out giv­ing him release.  There are many ways to use a per­son and I can do them all, but it will always start with a request, not an order.

Look­ing back over the past sev­eral months I real­ize that i’d spent a lot of time think­ing about my sex­u­al­ity from a sub­mis­sive per­spec­tive.  Ava and I both enjoy play­ing the roles on both ends of the dom­i­nant / sub­mis­sive spec­trum, but left free to wan­der, my thoughts more often float towards the lat­ter.  This feel­ing was enhanced a while back when Ava decided (with­out warn­ing or request) that she would like to take charge.  It was an incred­i­ble expe­ri­ence that’s per­me­ated my fan­tasies and stoked my sub­mis­sive flame quite fre­quently since.  Ava has agreed to explore it fur­ther with me.

Com­pli­ca­tions in our lives have kept this dynamic on the back burner.

This past Fri­day around 4:30 Ava man­aged to get a nap in while I was tak­ing a shower.  When I was done I went into the bed­room to find her sleep­ing.  I laid down naked beside her and dozed off think­ing only of sleep (we’ve been busy).  When we both awoke Miss Ava told me I wasn’t allowed clothes for the rest of the evening.  I went instantly hard; which prompted a few more instructions:

I was allowed to go about my evening’s busi­ness (I had a lot of work to do) but I was to work to keep my cock hard at all times.  When I got up to do any­thing I was to stroke my cock and present it to Miss Ava.  An hour or so of this and I was near orgasm with every touch of my hand or her lips — she liked the teas­ing.  Occa­sion­ally I was made to kiss Ava’s breasts through her shirt (she enjoys being touched through cloth).  Dur­ing the whole evening we were talk­ing over instant mes­sen­ger about my sub­mis­sion (our “ver­bal” con­ver­sa­tion was “nor­mal” evening stuff).  We were also shop­ping for cock rings and gags and dil­dos, which only added to the pressure.

We had din­ner and set­tled down to watch TV.  For the next sev­eral hours I was fon­dled and pushed to the edge again and again until Ava declared that she would like to use me.  In the bed­room I was tied to the bed and after Ava pleased her­self by rid­ing my face, she set­tled onto my cock giv­ing me spe­cific instruc­tions not to cum.

In this I failed.

As Miss Ava wrapped her pussy around me I could feel the orgasm approach­ing way too quickly to stop.  My beg­ging Miss Ava to let me regain con­trol was met with harder thrusts until we came together.  Then I was left tied and alone for a while.

I was used again but able to keep myself from cum­ing this time.  Miss Ava wasn’t happy about my fail­ure to fol­low instruc­tions though and I was flipped over, hands retied, and spanked soundly.  Ava has spanked me this hard before but stopped when she thought I had asked her to stop.  Part of our new agree­ment is that when she is in con­trol she doesn’t have to “check in’ with me any­more.  She thought I needed a harder beat­ing; I got one.  The result was a red, sore, hot ass.

We stayed up a bit longer and I was allowed to put on pajama pants.  I went to sleep that evening hope­ful that Miss Ava got what she wanted / know­ing that I did.

Today it was brought to my atten­tion that I failed in another thing last Fri­day; I didn’t write here as I was told to.  While we were shop­ping online Miss Ava told me to post images of the toys I liked and why I liked them.  I’ve been told that I needed another naked evening as a result.

Once again I am rock hard.

So as it turns out we didn’t need to be as quiet or slow as I’d thought and Ava han­dled stealth like a pro.  We came home late from our date but as we approached our apart­ment build­ing we made a detour to a base­ment level entrance that is never used this late.  I don’t remem­ber why we decided to head that way.

As soon as the door shut I was spun around and slammed hard against the wall.  I’m stronger than Ava but nine months of tot­ing our baby around com­bined with booze and sur­prise ren­dered me unable to react.  By the time I even reg­is­tered any­thing Ava was forcibly remov­ing my belt and bit­ing my neck; telling me what was going to hap­pen while squeez­ing my cock through my unzipped jeans.  My resis­tance melted as her grip tightened.

Whis­pered con­ver­sa­tion about need­ing just a lit­tle more pri­vacy led us to a stor­age locker hall­way around the cor­ner from where we were stand­ing; it’s secluded and locked and dark.  With my pants undone and falling down and my belt wrapped around Ava’s hand, I was pushed to unlock the door and get inside with a sharp com­mand and nip from the belt.  As I turned to lock the door behind us Ava pulled my pants and briefs all the way down; leav­ing me exposed and breath­less in the dark.  Some harder slaps from the belt and I was on my knees with my face pressed to the dirty floor while Ava strad­dled my back.  From my posi­tion my hands were pinned under­neath me and I could see under the door out into the hall­way; from hers, Ava could do what­ever she wanted.

I was well and thor­oughly handled.

After the rapid sequence that brought me to the floor Ava seemed to take her time; lulling me to relax with gen­tle touches from her hands and tongue, suck­ing on my balls and teas­ing my ass.  As I relaxed and began to moan I felt an amaz­ing sting from the belt I for­got she had; the slaps and her words brought me back to where I was.  The semi-public space forced me to keep silent as she con­tin­ued to work over my ass with her hands and my belt, pen­e­trat­ing me with her fin­gers and tongue, stroking my cock hard and fast, then back to the spanking…

I don’t remem­ber how long this went on but I was not allowed to cum.  Even­tu­ally I was brought up to stand­ing by my hair and told to dress.  I was given fur­ther instruc­tions about what would hap­pen once we were back in our apart­ment.  I would con­tinue to be her toy, only this time in silence.

As we walked upstairs Ava reminded me that I had just been beaten, sucked, slapped, spanked and pen­e­trated on the dirty floor of a stor­age locker hall­way.  She told me next time there would be pic­tures, she would take her time, and not worry about how I felt.  As we reen­tered “nor­mal“ life my head was swim­ming with anticipation.